As of today...this girl is officially enrolled as a student at Hillsong International Leadership College! Super excited to be registered for classes, have my student photo taken, and prepare for my first week of school, starting Jan 30th. It's an exciting and sometimes anxious feeling but God's been reminding me lately to just live in the now. Not to worry about tomorrow because I only have enough grace for today. He knows what's coming and He will provide exactly what I need to get through it. Sometimes it's a minute by minute battle but deep down inside I know I can trust Him. So I will choose to submit every time whether I feel like it or not.

We are so close to being all settled! After a massive shopping spree at Ikea I have almost everything I need. Wifi was set up today (yay! we were running out of coffee money for the cafe wifi lol) and a fridge will be delivered to us on Saturday! We still need a washing machine but the sink works good enough for now and someone finally figured out how to work the dryer...too many switches and buttons for me haha.

Our apartment is right above a grocery store so not having a fridge has just forced me to eat healthier. Since the store is so close we just buy enough fresh food to eat that day. My diet has consisted of eggs (not refrigerated here), potatoes, tortillas, bread, honey, peanut butter, fruit, veggies, nuts and meal shakes (PTL for Advocare!). I've always loved eating healthy I just never made the time for all the preparation it entails. We have free access to a gym and a pool with our apartment so on the day we aren't doing a lot of walking (which hasn't been often) I'm able to get in a workout before bed.

Starting fresh has been a challenging yet inspiring idea. Sorta like cleaning house. It's good to do and the result can be very rewarding but the process is sometimes difficult. A few I'm determined to master and maintain this year: getting up consistently early (which also means going to bed at a decent hour), having a relaxed quiet time (not just trying to get it done in a hurry and cross it off the list), making and enjoying breakfast (part of the eating healthy idea), getting ready on time, arriving at school/church early and working out at least 5 days a week (even if it's just 10 minutes). So far so good but my real classes haven't technically started yet so prayers for energy and determination would be much appreciated!

Tomorrow (26th for me) is Australia Day! There are no classes scheduled so we are free until Monday. Well, sorta. I've decided to go to the Hillsong Powerhouse Summer Fest this weekend! It's an amazing opportunity that I think will help catapult me into 2017, spirit, soul and body. Check it out on the link below :)

http://hillsong.com/summer/nsw-powerhouse/

Well, that's about all the details I have for now but here are a few pics from the week...They're a bit mixed up so sorry about that!

My little piece of apartment 😌

 Park between our apartment and the gym/pool

One of the many awesome workout machines!

 First Sunday service 🙏

 Two of my roomies...or flatmates as they call them 😉

 So cool to have Taya (and many other talented people) lead us in worship on my first Sunday here!

 My new home church away from home...but FFC will always be my "home" home church 🙌

 Found this clock in a local mall and thought it was pretty cool

 Ever had a rainbow in a sunrise?! Starting the day with a promise is pretty spectacular 💖

 Breakfast!

 Homemade stir-fry!

 I just thought this Honey bottle was adorable!

 On a bus headed to IKEA trying not to freak out about traffic coming the opposite direction! 😳

Hello friends! 

I’ve decided to post a little more of this journey here on my blog. If you would like to follow, please do! As you can see it’s been a while haha but I will do my best to post at least once per week and highlight some of what life looks like here at Hillsong College and Sydney, Australia. Please feel free to comment and share with anyone who may benefit. It’s my hope to exalt Him above all else and show just how powerful, loving, bold, courageous, forgiving, gracious and kind our Father is. Thanks again for all the love, support and prayers. I miss everyone so much already. But even though you’re far away, God is continuing to use you in my life. Your prayers and encouragement is working in and through me as I start this incredible adventure!

How it began…

I was asked to tell a little of my journey leading up to this decision. It’s hard to know where to start but I will do my best to share a few of the key ‘God moments’ in my life and I pray it encourages some of you in the process. God is a personal God. We all have our own unique testimony that He uses to draw others to HIm. My hope is that the words below will magnify just how amazing He has been to me. Without Him I am nothing, but with God ALL things have become possible (Matthew 19:26).

I’ve never known life before Christ and for this I am so grateful. He chose to reveal Himself to me in a very tangible way when I was really young and has been my best friend ever since. Some had imaginary friends, I had Jesus :) Oh, the things we went through together. Some good, some not so good. Looking back I can see how He held my hand through it all and used everything to strengthen and grow my faith in Him. He called me to full time ministry at 17 and I spent 7 + years trying to figure out just what that meant. I didn’t know then, that ‘called’ didn’t necessarily me ‘now’. It meant His. I pursued many different careers and interests looking for that one thing that I was suppose to do, to no avail. Serving in a local church was deeply instilled in me from childhood and I am so thankful for this. So no matter what I was pursuing on the side, I knew my first responsibility had to be the church. Whatever team I was on, I was incredibly honored to play a part in what God was doing in and through the church and community. Now, that doesn’t mean that my heart was always completely pure when I would serve. We all have days but thank God His power is not limited by our attitude or motives. He can use us regardless of how we feel. Sometimes, us choosing to be faithful even if we don’t feel like it means more to God than when we do.

God brought my passion for music back full force about 6 years ago. I hadn’t played piano since I was a kid and I didn’t have money for one either. So God gave me a new idea…guitar. For a beginner, they were cheap and thanks to friends and YouTube, fairly easy to learn. I told God that I didn’t have time for both music and the career I was currently pursuing. I was so stubborn and set in a completely different direction but that was no challenge for Him. He simply took one passion away and replaced it with another. I was a little upset about it but I took the step anyway. Little did I know where that step would take me. A year later I started attending worship team practice at my church. About 9 months after that I was the lead and only guitarist on the team. I was scared out of my mind and honestly had no idea what I was doing lol. Somehow, someway, God used it.

Fast forward 4 years. Sitting in the Detroit airport, I started complaining. I listed in my mind, all the things that labeled me (by the world’s standards) a failure. Some of them weren’t necessarily bad things, but when listed with everything else in comparison to my age and what I thought God called me to, they sounded pretty ridiculous. I asked God if He’d forgotten about me, or maybe just misplaced me among the billions of people on this earth. The passions and callings I thought He’d put in me a long time ago sure didn’t seem like they were even close to coming true. Maybe I just didn’t hear Him right. Maybe I am just an ordinary person that’s meant to live an ordinary life. Maybe I just need to grow up and put away the dreams and get on with my life. God was pretty silent in all my thoughts until then. Interrupting my silly comparisons, He said as plainly as ever, “Well, what do you want to do?”. Ha, my response? “God, I don’t know! That’s a question for you not me!” Silence again, and so my complaining continued. “Ugh…why can’t He just tell me? Is that too much to ask? He knows the future anyway, it’s easy for Him.” I picked up my phone and started researching. I had a few ideas but nothing really stood out or awakened anything in me. Until I saw ‘Hillsong College’. “Well, that would be amazing but…impossible.” Silence broke again. “Well what would it hurt to see what it takes?” Hilarious…God, but ok. After I did some research and doors began to open, I started getting nervous. “I’m not qualified to do something like this. Who do I think I am? I don’t even know what I’m playing half the time and the only reason I’m a vocalist is because the mic is off…well it was until the sounds guys tricked me and turned it on without asking (true story).” More lists. Not my circumstances this time, but everything I thought would disqualified me from any opportunity in ministry. That’s when God said to me, “That’s right, you are a nobody and you can’t do anything (thanks a lot, God). What I mean is, that’s kinda the point. If you’ll trust me, I will do through you above and beyond anything you could imagine (Ephesians 3:20).”

I made a decision. “God, You know this is impossible for me, but if it was You who opened this door I’ll walk through it. If this is not what You have for me, slam it in my face and lock it.” The hardest part of this was that I knew God wanted me to plan as if it was really happening. A year of telling everyone I was going and not being able to answer all the ‘How?’ questions. I don’t like being wrong. I don’t like looking like a fool. I don’t like getting my hopes up only to have the rug pulled out from under me. All I could promise God is that, every day, I would take the step that was in front of me, even if I couldn’t see the next one. There were many things that looked impossible but He came through every time. Sometimes, to my frustration, not until the very last second. Nevertheless, He would show up, big time.

So through this journey I’ve learned on a much larger scale, what it means to trust Him. Also, to never doubt His voice. Even if it’s a faint whisper no one else hears and shows no promise of coming true any time soon, trust Him. When doubts or fear of the unknown seep in, I go back to His promises and remember that it was Him who made the impossible, possible. I don’t know what’s next but I can live in today, fully alive, and trust Him with tomorrow. He brought me here I believe He won’t abandon me (Joshua 1:5).

Lauren

Counting down the hours...

 The nice businessman next to me let me snap a few pics of the cliffs before we landed :)

Finally!

View out my bedroom window

View from 2nd bedroom with door to the deck

Sorta my bedroom...I will share with another girl when they arrive

Living room...and our beds (unassembled)

Kitchen (ignore the trash!)

One of the bathrooms

Sunset from the deck

View from the deck

Me with the skyline in the background

"God doesn't call the equipped, He equips the called..."

I write this in response to the comments on my Facebook post yesterday:

"Whatever you do, don't give up on what God is calling you to.  The giftings He's placed in you are for a purpose and no one can be you as well as you.  He will give you what it takes to fulfill the calling on your life if you will only trust Him.  He is your biggest fan and loves you so much <3 Don't give up!  Keep pressing on!!  'Sorrow may last for a night but joy comes in the morning.' "

I had no idea when I wrote this just how many of us have to fight to stay confident in what God has put inside of us.  To stand on His promise to give us what we need to fulfill the calling He's set before us.

One thing that stirs my heart for the kingdom is worship.  I know it's something He has gifted and called me to in this season of my life.  It's so deeply rooted in my heart that no one can make me believe otherwise...but that doesn't mean I don't have to fight against doubts from time to time.  I believe we're all tempted with doubts, even Jesus was.  But just to be clear, this gift is nothing I can boast in.  No, it's only by His strength and grace that I can do what I do.  I put myself in a very dangerous place when I forget that.  I love being in His presence.  I'm so humbled and blessed to help lead others in worship to Him.  

I also love showing people how much God loves them.  How He's for them and not against them.  How He pursues them every second of every day...regardless of their situation or the mistakes they've made.  How he weeps when they weep and rejoices when they rejoice.  I love watching darkness in a heart be overtaken by The Light.  You can see the fire and passion in their eyes when God turns their life around.  

These things drive and push me to get out of bed each morning.  Life just isn't worth living if I'm living only for myself.  I would never be satisfied.  My soul is ignited by serving and making a difference in the lives around me.  But all of it is for His glory...none of the credit can or should go to me.  I only hope and pray to be faithful with what He's placed in my hands.

So what's your story?  What giftings and callings has God put in you?  What would you rather be doing than anything else?  What gives you joy and fills you with so much passion to the point of overflow?  Please share!  I'd love to hear.  We all need to be encouraged and challenged in this.  We're not to be a bystander who sits back and watches others change the world.  No, WE are the world changers.  We were created for a specific purpose.  To stand up and proclaim the Truth to this broken world and point them to Jesus.  The everlasting God who created all things.  From the smallest atom to galaxies far beyond our imagination.  He is all powerful but all loving at the same time.  Nothing is too great or too small for Him.  Not even us.

Looking Back...

Finding myself in a strange and almost unfamiliar state today.  While sipping on a cup of hot tea...infused with honey and lemon due to the seasonal cold I seem to be fighting...I began thinking about 2013 coming to a close.  All the surprises it brought with it.  Part of me can't believe it's almost over but then again it feels like there were 5 years crammed into those 12 short months.  Oh how it's changed some things in me.  Good and bad...but mostly good :)  The things I've learned are irreversible.  I'm so grateful God allowed me to go through all of it.  I wouldn't have said that a month ago (maybe even a week ago) but I can see it now.  The silver lining is now visible on the dark cloud that hovered over me for so long.  A reason for all the pain.  A greater understanding.  Another piece of the puzzle...God's big picture...has been uncovered.  And this one seems to be an edge piece, one that is vital for the rest to stay in their appropriate places.  Heart surgery was taking place.  

I almost think myself strange at times.  Things I was once passionate about (or just simply took joy in) seem to be of little importance...or none at all for that matter.  Oh how I wish to be in God's presence every hour of everyday.  In a way I guess we are.  Just like Jesus said in Matthew 28, "And be sure of this: I am with you always, even to the end of the age.”  But I'm talking about those deep moments in the middle of a worship set when God's presence falls heavy in the room or when you hear God speak directly to you through your pastor who couldn't possibly know the things you're facing or in your quiet time when the words on the page suddenly come to life and He gives you understanding like never before....oh how I wish those moments would last forever.  For just a moment it's only you and God, all your fears are gone and your eyes are fixed on the Creator.  

I think it's so easy to lose sight of him in our busy schedules.  I've begun to realize something when I find myself stressed or under a heavy load of discouragement.  It's never because He left my side...no, most of the time It's because I left His.  The emptiness creeps in when our focus shifts from HIM to IT.  We lose sight of Him and forget to stand on all the promises He has given us.

Looking ahead...

I have such a great expectancy for the coming year.  An Urgency.  Ambition.  Peace.  Like I've just stepped onto another level.  Joyce Meyer once said, "With every level comes a new devil" and boy is this true.  Well devil, I've conquered this one...so on to the next!

The calling He placed inside of me is in sight once again.  It's here, right now and more clear than ever before.  I'm not scared.  No, my God is ABLE.  He is able to do "exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works within us."  I know my struggles but I also know His power, that power that works within me.  It's what Paul talks about in Ephesians 3, "The Spirit of God, who raised Jesus from the dead, lives in you."  Nothing is too big or too small for my God.  He cares about every inch of our lives and watches over all of "IT"...whatever our "IT" may be.

-Lauren-

Heaviness

My heart is heavy as I write today.  There's so much junk in this world.  Just worn out and saddened by all the hurt around me.  Common is negativity and selfishness.  If you're like me you probably couldn't count the number of people you know that talk about people behind their back.  People who would do anything to have the upper hand.  "Whatever it takes to be successful", is the thinking of the world in which we live.  Most people are ok with the phrase, "step on whoever you have to as long as it gets you where you want to go".  "Friends are a dime a dozen" (easily thrown away and replaced). These "mottos", you could call them, appear to be drilled into us by every form of media out there.  It's all about fame and fortune or in smaller towns it can come down to just being known and not looked down upon.  So why is this such a big problem?  That I'm not sure.  Maybe it's just the true heart of a human poisoned by sin.  Even Christians can fall into this, and sometimes (I've observed) can be worse maybe because we are held to a higher standard.  Even though we are dead to sin we still have a sinful nature.  Our flesh that's constantly fighting against our spirit.  "The angel on one shoulder and the devil on the other" is a childish but pretty accurate description of the war that goes on inside.  Sometimes it makes it really tough to stay focused on God.  Makes a person wonder if there's any good in anything.  But then I'm reminded of the only One who is good. The One who's love never stops.  The One that doesn't gossip about all my mistakes but instead confronts, forgives and forgets them.  The One who doesn't judge me for losing hope, instead picks me back up and encourages me to keep going.  Sometimes our view of the Creator can become blurred and tainted by the people around us.  It can be hard to trust in anything.  That's when we have to ask God to reveal who He really is and exactly how He feels about us, His beloved children.  To remind us of the only Truth we can stand on.  The One who always is, always has been and always will be.  The One who never changes.  Jesus Christ.

Are we sensitive to those around us?

This is a question I've been asking myself lately.  And let's face it, most of us wish those around us would ask themselves the same question.  We've all been through some hard stuff in our life.  We know how it feels to not be understood and feel alone.  We can relate when we see a person's confidence crushed by a hurtful comment or gesture someone makes...even if it was said/done in a joking manner.  Many of us know how it feels to cry ourselves to sleep at night.  We've tried so hard to fight our fears and doubts on a long day only to get up the next morning and do it all over again.  The list could go on and on.  

So I ask myself and those of you reading this, if we can relate so much why do we let the cycle continue?  Why do we sit back and watch it happen over and over again?  Could it be lack of confidence?  Maybe we think we're going through too much to be there for anyone else.  Have you ever thought, "maybe I won't say the right thing" or "maybe they will pour their heart out and I won't have any answers for them."  Maybe it's because we are too selfish and prideful, "what if they want me to pray for them right then and there and I won't have time or maybe I'll have time but 'so-and-so' watching will think I'm crazy" or "they're a Christian...they should be able to get through this if they're really trusting God."  I've been guilty of these thoughts on many occasions.  But then I think about Jesus and His ministry here on earth.  Did He hold back when the devil told Him He didn't have what it took?  Did He care about what others around Him thought?  Did He say He was too busy with "God's work" to help someone in need?  Of course not.  He came for the "least of these" the Bible said.  He also created us to be in relationship with Him and each other.  

We hear about Christians (sometimes even leaders in ministry) that fall into depression or worse.  Now I don't know what kind of people they had around them but it makes me wonder if anyone saw the hints that their faith was growing weak.  Or maybe they were just too busy with their own life to notice.  

Now my point in writing all of this is not to put anyone down or falsely accuse their intentions.  I know some people even with help at their fingertips still choose to go the other way.  I only hope to encourage us to search our own hearts and ask ourselves "am I reaching out today?"  It doesn't take a theologian to encourage someone.  Sometimes all it takes is giving someone a hug or saying "are you doing alright friend?" or "I'm praying for you, everything's going to work out" or inviting them to coffee or calling during the week to check on them.  We don't have to have all the answers...in fact most of the time that's not what we want to hear anyway when we're going through something.  We don't have to be in a perfect place in our lives either or have everything going for us to help someone.  Actually, that can be more discouraging than encouraging.  Sometimes it's the ones that are going through the most that can be the greatest encouragement to others.  Sometimes they just need someone to listen and know they are not alone.

Seek First

I've always wanted to know where the line is between the 'prosperity doctrine' and being on the opposite end where we don't live the abundant life God so desperately wants us to have.  Are we asking/accepting too many 'good things' in this life or are we missing out on the blessings God wants to give us?  Then I read this scripture in the AMP...

"31 Therefore do not worry and be anxious, saying, What are we going to have to eat? or, what are we going to have to drink? or, What are we going to have to wear? 32 For the Gentile (heathen) wish for and crave and diligently seek all these things, and your Heavenly Father knows well that you need them all. 33 But seek (aim at and strive after) first of all His Kingdom and His righteousness (His way of doing and being right), and then all these things taken together will be given to you besides." Matthew 6:31-33

After reading this it seems to me that the answer is more of a heart issue.  What are we seeking first?  Are we trusting God and doing His will above all else (no matter the financial status it comes with) or are we pursuing careers/things first then trying to fit God into it?  I think it's so easy to judge other Christians in this area.  When they are in a hard spot we either think they've done something wrong or they are being lazy and should just get up and make 'something' of themselves. Or when someone is doing well and are wealthy, healthy and happy we assume they love money more than God or we think they should give some away and live cheaper.  But is this really what God would say?  It's true people can think wrongly in both instinces but maybe instead of judging and confronting them we should just pray and ask God to reveal the Truth in the situation.  Maybe we should check our own heart before we look at theirs. Who knows the human heart better than God?  Something to think about...