Farewell...Hello

Hello, my loves :)

I'm saying farewell to beautiful Sydney soon. Thank you all for the love and support you've shown me. It's been an amazing experience and I'm so grateful to have had this opportunity. Don't worry, nothing bad has happened and I didn't get kicked out of school! I have no doubts that God wanted me to come here. However, the way it's unfolded has looked a little different than I anticipated.

He's taught me so much since I've been here, things I couldn't have learned anywhere else. I've loved being able to study God's Word, His character, and The Church. I've discovered more of who I am at my core, my strengths, weaknesses, fears, and limitations. He's shown me which dreams have been 'my' dreams and which ones are His. There are things I've had to surrender in order to take hold of what He has for me. They always turn out better than I could've imagined anyway haha. I never dreamed of being able to come to Australia!

He's ignited new passions and desires in me that I hope to share with you one day. Until then, I'm going to just keep putting one foot in front of the other on the road He's mapped out before me. I don't have a clear view of everything that's ahead but I will choose to trust Him. God has confirmed this decision many times so I'm stepping out in faith and leaving the details up to Him. I will miss this incredible country, the Hillsong atmosphere and the friends I've made but they will be forever in my heart. I'm so excited for what God has planned ahead and can't wait to see all of you back home! Being away has been the hardest thing my heart has ever known.

Good bye and see you soon!

Love always, Lauren

Hello friends!

I'm sorry It's been a while! I've been staying busy with classes and working on assessments for this semester. I've really enjoyed having extra time to dig deep into the Word and have been challenged by it every day. That being said, I have a job interview scheduled for next Friday! Or Thursday for all my America people :) It is a part time graphic designing job for a jewelry company. I'm super excited about this as I have experience in everything they're needing done. I really believe it was a God thing the way it all fell into place but I'm praying for His will to be done whatever the result may be.

Graphics training is going well and I'm starting to get the hang of all the multitasking. I had the opportunity to run lyrics for part of the services last weekend and be in the 'green room' with some amazing people. I love hearing the worship leaders share what God has put on their heart for the services ahead. They're just normal human beings who have to juggle the same things as us (sometimes more) in their everyday lives. They're raw and honest about their personal walk and what God has spoken to them. They go out on the stage expectant. They surrender all they've got and rely fully on the Holy Spirit to touch each and every person. Even if only one person walks away changed, every bit of sacrifice was worth it to them. I can always see the passionate love they have for God on their face but knowing the heart behind the passion makes it so much more special.

A few thoughts and quotes from my recent classes...

Personal Leadership: 
If we want to pursue excellence we must reject the middle ground. The middle ground is the lowest ground. It lacks purpose, progress, (real) friends, faith, passion, respect and life. Hard work builds a legacy for the next generation, laziness squanders the legacy of the last generation. Don't want what somebody else has got if you're not willing to pay the price they've paid. Treat people like Christians so they want to become one. Do people like you or do they want to be like you?

Old Testament:

God couldn't ask Abraham to sacrifice his own son if He wasn't willing to sacrifice His. God knew He was going to send Jesus. If you knew that God was with you and that you were going to succeed, what would you do? Can you walk blamelessly? Can you trust that He’s walking it out with you? Covenant is not a free pass but of grace. God promises to be faithful even though He knows humans won’t be.

Mission & Culture:
Cultural differences is the root of misunderstanding. Sometimes we blame God for not opening a door when sometimes we just don’t have the persistence to push through. Our churches have looked way too much like a football team, everyone claims to be the team but only a few do the work.

"No one has the right to hear the gospel twice, while there remains someone who has not heard it once."

Oswald J. Smith

We watched the clip from The Bible Series in our O.T. class of when Abraham went to sacrifice Isaac to God. I've provided the link below. Please watch it before reading on, it's very short.

https://youtu.be/6s9ldacroHM

Those of you who know me well, know that I'm not a very emotional person (although I've been a little more fragile since I've been away from all of you). This clip hit me like a ton of bricks and it took everything in me not to lose it right there in the middle of class. Isaac was Abraham's most prized and promised possession. All he had to go on was a word from God. Can you imagine what must have gone through his mind? Can you see the pain in his eyes? I haven't been able to shake it from my mind since. Could I do this? Could I surrender to Him the things that are most important to me if He asked me to? Not that God would want me or anyone else to kill someone. It was never God's intention for Abraham to actually kill his son. He just wanted to see if Abraham was willing. Would I be willing to pursue Him if it meant that I would never see my family and friends again? Even as I write this, my heart aches at the thought. I would like to say that I would. The truth is, at this point in my life I don't think I could. But, I want to have that kind of faith. I want to say He's number one in my life and actually mean it with all my heart. Don't worry, I believe God wants me to come home to you guys when I'm done here :) I was just challenged to evaluate my relationship with God. I thought I trusted Him and was committed to Him 100%. Sometimes we need to be asked questions like this. That's why "a gathering" is part of the definition of The Church. If we are only comparing ourselves to ourselves we will always feel good about ourselves. Paul warns the church in Corinth of this very same thing in 2 Corinthians 10:12 (AMP) "We do not have the audacity to put ourselves in the same class or compare ourselves with some who [supply testimonials to] commend themselves. When they measure themselves by themselves and compare themselves with themselves, they lack wisdom and behave like fools." If we want to have wisdom and not be fools we must challenge each other with the Word of God. It is our road map and the answer to every question in life.

So, what do you think? Could you do what Abraham did? I'd love to hear your thoughts on this. Feel free to comment below or shoot me an email. If you don't know my email just message me on Facebook :)

Love always, Lauren

It's days like this when I really miss not owning a car...

 Just got my Hillsong volunteer shirt!

 You can't really tell in this picture but the coffees are tiny here...like super tiny!

Read these Bible names and their definitions in chronological order...

 This is what a Sunday looks like for me these days :)

Beach Time!!!

I  finally made it to the beach! We started at Coogee and worked our way around the coast a bit. It was so much fun and absolutely breathtaking! The temperature was in the low 80's, sun out, cool breeze, cold blue water and sand. I had seen pictures of the very same spots but actually getting to experience them felt like a dream. In places like these I see God's creation on a whole new level. His design is so perfect in every detail and shade of color. I think it shows His power and creativity but also just how personable He wants to be with each one of us. He is the great Creator and at the same time a loving and caring Father who likes to do things just to put a smile on our face.

I had my first church graphics training today! I will be the one responsible for putting the words on the screen during each song and setting timers for the order of service. There are several monitors with several screens and several buttons and numbers and words to all bring together at just the right moment. No pressure at all, right? Ha. It's intense at times when last minute (more like second) changes come up but I have an awesome specialist assigned to me who made it super fun. She let me practice while the band was doing a run through then watch her lead during the service. I'm still several trainings away from being able to do it on my own but having been on a team and knowing the songs has given me an advantage. It's a good thing I'm a worship music junkie huh? :)

Pastoral studies are going well! Personal Leadership, Public Speaking and Old Testament were a few of my classes last week. It's been so interesting and fun to dissect the meaning of The Church. Learning, by definition and biblical evidence, it's purpose and how it applies to the church today. In Old Testament, we are currently studying the first three chapters of Genesis. Instead of just reading over the stories with familiarity, we are challenged to really dig deep and discover more of God's character. Looking for the who and why instead of focusing on finding the what, how and when. Some food for thought along those lines: "If the answer is not in the Bible, maybe God didn't think it was necessary for us to know." There are many benefits that come from learning all the intricate details of creation but if we don't know the function and reasoning behind it then I think we've missed the point. Nothing just happened. Everything was created by Him and for a specific purpose.

I've included some pics this time! If there's anything you'd like to see or want me to write about just let me know!

Oh and my health is much better this week so thank you for all the prayers! I'm almost back to 100% :)

Love always, Lauren

This is proof that I was at all of the beautiful places below :)

(Pardon the serious face...it was extremely bright and I was very focused on taking this picture)

Coogee Beach 

 View from the hike overlooking Coogee

It was amazing how much the terrain changed around every corner!

Panoramic view of a rocky area, natural pool and Coogee Beach

 We sat here a while just watching and listening to the waves crash over the rocks

I was trying to be brave...you can't really tell but this was actually quite high!

 One of the views from our hiking adventure

 I love the color contrast in this picture!

 I had some fun with this one...

Change...

There has been so much change these days. Change can be incredibly exciting and incredibly terrifying at the same time. Uncomfortable yet satisfying. Dying to self. Handing over control in more areas every day.

God's had something on my heart these past 6-8 months. Something new. An idea I've thought on nearly every day since. There are things God has burdened my heart with and given me a passion for. Most of them, I keep to myself. Sometimes they're meant to be shared, sometimes they're more personal and intimate and sometimes it's just not time yet. They're big things and tiny things. You know, those little whispers we hear in our hearts? The prophecies that mean nothing to anyone else, but to us, it means the world? All of these fill us with passion and more love for our heavenly Father. Little things He does just to put a smile on our face. Like a sticky note someone leaves on your car or desk that simply says, "I Love You". Let's not be so obsessed in finding the bright crash of lightning or earth shaking thunder that we miss the little flowers popping up in the quiet, misty rain.

I love worship. I love to worship and I love being used to lead worship and usher in the presence of God. One of my favorite things about leading is getting to see His light on the faces of people. Worshippers who are completely sold out to Him. Praising in pain and in joy. Praising in want and in abundance. Praising through the weakness of our humanity and into the strength of our great God. In these moments I believe He shows me just a glimpse of His face. I know this is something God has gifted me with and called me to. It's only by the grace of God that a person like me can be used in such a way. Even on the days that my heart is in the wrong place and I don't feel like worshipping, He still allows His Holy Spirit to flow through me and onto others. It's just amazing. So, I put my calling in a box and decided, "this is it! This is what I'm suppose to do forever!" haha. Isn't it funny how we do that? But there's more. More to life, more to our story and more to His call than just one 'profession' or 'title'.

I've tried to be more open minded these days. Asking God to show me other areas He wants to use me in. I was wrestling with this upon arriving here. Not questioning whether I'm suppose to be here or not (that's been confirmed in so many amazing ways). Instead, questioning what I'm spending the majority of time learning here. Worship or Pastoral. Knowing I only had 2 weeks into my classes to change put the pressure on. I pleaded for confirmation and received none. So I continued in what I knew...Worship. I got things in order, prepared my heart and put the other out of my mind. Until this week.

As mentioned in my previous post, it's been a rough week. Stretching, pruning and learning endurance on a much higher level. The virus I had triggered Bell's Palsy. Yep, the thing that temporarily paralysis half of your face and makes you look goofy 24/7...talk about humbling! The only thing that's dangerous and painful is when your eye stops blinking. So prayers for this as well as all the other symptoms would be awesome. With half my face paralyzed, it's impossible for me to sing, much less practice all the vocal warm ups that I'm required to do. When I try, it's pretty hilarious, believe me!

Pastoral was back in my mind. Now, it's impossible to sing! Although I'm praying (along with all of you) for a quick recovery, it could take weeks maybe months for my face to get back to 100%. I hate starting things I can't finish. Not to mention, I miss all of you too much to be extending my time here any longer (but as always, may God's will be done). So, I went to talk to someone at the school to see if it was still possible to switch. After telling them everything that was going on, they agreed that I wasn't being irrational but told me that if I was going to do it I needed to decide that day. Apparently it was the last day of my 2 week 'grace period'. I submitted the change request and prayed one last time for God to shut the door if I wasn't suppose walk in. The next day I received confirmation that my request had been approved. Not only that, I had a tuition refund for switching (apparently Pastoral is cheaper than Worship) that covered all my medical bills with a few dollars to spare. God is good.

This doesn't mean I've given up leading Worship. I still have my guitar with me and plan to jump back on the team as soon as I get home...if they'll have me ;) Until then, I will continue to attend the creative team nights here, learn from the people around me and maybe even take some vocal lessons from one of the trainers when I can use my face again haha. I'm not 100% sure what this change is preparing me for but I have a few ideas. At this point, I've learned to just be content riding in the car and not ask where it's taking me every hour. It's much more exciting and a lot less stressful.

There's much more to the story but hopefully my explanation made sense to you (if it didn't, feel free to ask questions). I'm confident I'm following God's direction on this and I'm excited to see what continues to unfold!

I love hearing about your life and things that are happening back home so keep the comments and emails coming! I can also receive good ol' fashion snail mail too if you're into that...there's just something special about holding a piece of paper in your hands that traveled thousands of miles to get to you...anyway, just message me and I'll send you my address :)


Love always, Lauren

Honesty

I took a major blow to my pride and independence this week. The goal of this blog was to be honest about this season of my life, not to portray a vague, rosy picture. So...here's to being honest, raw and open.

Those of you who know me well, know that I have a tendency to do everything on my own and strive for perfection. When perfection is not achieved I do everything I can to avoid failure. This has always been a problem for me but I never spent much time working on it. In some areas it's a good thing to have but if I'm not careful, it can wreck everything I put my hands to. So, what does God do with areas of our life we avoid and cover up? He exposes them...eventually.

This week (in a span of 3 days), I cut my right hand really deep on glass, spilled liquid all over my Mac and got a very strange, scary virus. I didn't know for a while if I cut any major tendons in my hand or if I would ever be able to use my computer again. I was in the process of dealing with all of this when I started getting a really bad headache that extended to my face, ears and neck. My face was swollen and I began to lose control of some of my facial muscles. I started running a low grade temperature and having vision issues, dizziness and hearing loss. As dramatic as this sounds, I felt like I was falling apart and just wanted to go home.

The church, college and students have been amazing. Oddly enough, that's been part of the problem. 
Every time I was welcomed by the greeters I could only think of our greeters back home.
Every time I was in worship I could only think of my worship team back home singing/playing the very same songs.
Every time people would reach out to me I could only think of my friends back home.
Every time I'd see kids I could only think of my nieces and nephews I left back home.
Every time I'd hear from family and friends it only made me miss them more. 

I knew I was being selfish. I knew I was being ungrateful. I new I had to let go of these things for a season. I knew I was missing out on the things God put before me. Worse yet, people were missing out because all I wanted was what I had. I didn't want to put myself out there. I wasn't up for the risk it entailed. I didn't realize it back home but I had become a little too comfortable with the familiar. Too protective of the life I'd built and the relationships I had spent so much time and effort building. I knew what would happen and who to trust. I was in control. At least I thought I was. So God allowed me to be in a position where there was nothing I could do but depend on the people around me. Those present, not far away. Not a fun or comfortable place to be in but necessary for growth. So dying, dying and more dying to self.

Kari Jobe's new album (The Garden) has been on repeat for me all week. The song below hit especially close to home. If you haven't heard it, you should look it up...or better yet, buy the album. You won't regret it :)

Oh, just so you don't worry...my hand is fine, computer is working perfectly and I'm feeling better.

Until next time...

Love always, Lauren

I Will Sing

Kari Jobe

I need to see You here
I need to know You're in control
Though my heart is torn wide open

I will trust, I will remember

I need to hear Your voice
Speaking to silence all my doubts
Your word won't return empty
You will break through every darkness

Even when my breath is weak
I will sing, I will sing
Even in my suffering
I will sing, I will sing

I need to feel Your hope
Rising above my greatest fears
Even death has been defeated
I will trust, I will remember

Even when the shadows fall
I will sing, I will sing
Even when the night is long
I will sing, I will sing

Hallelujah
I surrender all to You
Hallelujah
You are God, You won't be shaken
Hallelujah
I surrender all to You
Hallelujah
You are God, You won't be shaken

I need to see You here
I need to know You're in control
Though my heart is torn wide open
I will trust, I will remember

Done with Intensives!!!

Well, Intensives were exactly as they sound. Intense. All day lectures, teachings and information for the semester ahead. But they were also amazing at the same time! I took so many notes, laughed, cried and worshipped.

A few thoughts and quotes from the week: 

• We say teaching on weekends aren’t technically deep, but are we putting it into practice during the week?
• Leadership is not running a nursery for your ego.
• Until you have a fully defined comprehension of God, don’t paint a picture of who He is not.
• What would you say you believe? What would your actions say you believe?
• Your character can’t sustain your service so why do you think God would allow you to speak in chapel?
• Don’t label something before you seek to understand it.

I've had the opportunity to meet and stand next to so many people since I've been here. People we Americans may view as celebrities of the faith are just normal people doing every day life here. They are so devoted to the One who has called them (as He did all of us) to be His ambassadors to this broken world. I have so much respect for them. Not because they're amazing (although they are very gifted), but because they've allowed God to arrest their souls and have devoted their lives to Him and His call alone. We may not see sacrifice when we look at them on a platform but it's there...probably more sacrifice than most of us have. Being around them in their every day lives has opened my eyes to that even more.

That's enough talk...now for pics!

Sydney Harbor Bridge view from the ferry

Random building down town...

Cruise ship by the ferry docks

 Another random building downtown

Sydney Opera House from the ferry

Sydney Opra House at night

View from the ferry

Awesome tree by an old chapel

 

 St. Stephen's Anglican Church, Newtown - built in 1874

(We filled this little church with incredible worship at our Creative Team Night)

Inside the church

Hannah Hobbs, Taya Smith, Ben Fielding & Sarah Morgan

Sharing 2017 resolutions/wisdom with the creative team

As of today...this girl is officially enrolled as a student at Hillsong International Leadership College! Super excited to be registered for classes, have my student photo taken, and prepare for my first week of school, starting Jan 30th. It's an exciting and sometimes anxious feeling but God's been reminding me lately to just live in the now. Not to worry about tomorrow because I only have enough grace for today. He knows what's coming and He will provide exactly what I need to get through it. Sometimes it's a minute by minute battle but deep down inside I know I can trust Him. So I will choose to submit every time whether I feel like it or not.

We are so close to being all settled! After a massive shopping spree at Ikea I have almost everything I need. Wifi was set up today (yay! we were running out of coffee money for the cafe wifi lol) and a fridge will be delivered to us on Saturday! We still need a washing machine but the sink works good enough for now and someone finally figured out how to work the dryer...too many switches and buttons for me haha.

Our apartment is right above a grocery store so not having a fridge has just forced me to eat healthier. Since the store is so close we just buy enough fresh food to eat that day. My diet has consisted of eggs (not refrigerated here), potatoes, tortillas, bread, honey, peanut butter, fruit, veggies, nuts and meal shakes (PTL for Advocare!). I've always loved eating healthy I just never made the time for all the preparation it entails. We have free access to a gym and a pool with our apartment so on the day we aren't doing a lot of walking (which hasn't been often) I'm able to get in a workout before bed.

Starting fresh has been a challenging yet inspiring idea. Sorta like cleaning house. It's good to do and the result can be very rewarding but the process is sometimes difficult. A few I'm determined to master and maintain this year: getting up consistently early (which also means going to bed at a decent hour), having a relaxed quiet time (not just trying to get it done in a hurry and cross it off the list), making and enjoying breakfast (part of the eating healthy idea), getting ready on time, arriving at school/church early and working out at least 5 days a week (even if it's just 10 minutes). So far so good but my real classes haven't technically started yet so prayers for energy and determination would be much appreciated!

Tomorrow (26th for me) is Australia Day! There are no classes scheduled so we are free until Monday. Well, sorta. I've decided to go to the Hillsong Powerhouse Summer Fest this weekend! It's an amazing opportunity that I think will help catapult me into 2017, spirit, soul and body. Check it out on the link below :)

http://hillsong.com/summer/nsw-powerhouse/

Well, that's about all the details I have for now but here are a few pics from the week...They're a bit mixed up so sorry about that!

My little piece of apartment 😌

 Park between our apartment and the gym/pool

One of the many awesome workout machines!

 First Sunday service 🙏

 Two of my roomies...or flatmates as they call them 😉

 So cool to have Taya (and many other talented people) lead us in worship on my first Sunday here!

 My new home church away from home...but FFC will always be my "home" home church 🙌

 Found this clock in a local mall and thought it was pretty cool

 Ever had a rainbow in a sunrise?! Starting the day with a promise is pretty spectacular 💖

 Breakfast!

 Homemade stir-fry!

 I just thought this Honey bottle was adorable!

 On a bus headed to IKEA trying not to freak out about traffic coming the opposite direction! 😳